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Secondary Survivors: Family, friends of domestic violence victims also call hotlines looking for resources

The Quigley House received over 12,000 calls in 2021.

GREEN COVE SPRINGS, Fla. — Every 24 hours, seven days a week, someone at the Quigley House will always answer within three rings. While resources and services are often provided to victims of abuse, sometimes the hotline will get a different caller. Jennifer Rodriguez, CEO of the Quigley House, said the hotline saw more than 12,000 calls in 2021. Sometimes, family and friends of victims will call. Rodriguez, describes them as "secondary survivors", because knowing someone being abuses can be traumatic. 

"It is very hard when you're working to repair a relationship with somebody that has experienced domestic violence," Rodriguez explained. 

In Jacksonville, former radio personality Tasheka "Tysheeks" Young was killed, Saturday. Phylisha Thompson told First Coast News Young was her best friend. Thompson said she encouraged Young to move to Phoenix, Arizona, her currently residence. In the end, Young was killed. Her alleged killer, Bursey Armstrong, was charged with second-degree murder. 

"We knew it was coming," Thompson sobbed. "When it came, it just really hurt."

A pain Cydney Bulger has seen hundreds of times as an attorney. Instead of Secondary Survivor, Bulger called it "vicarious trauma", because the victim may not be the only person who feels helpless. Bulger said about 20% of domestic violence cases involve talking to: neighbors, friends, coaches and teachers. Basically, people who are intimately connected with the family dynamic. 

"Unfortunately, domestic violence is a community issue. It's a community problem," Bulger said. "And it's going to require the effort of the community if we're going to make any real progress with it." 

If you or someone you know is in need of help or resources, both the Quigley House and Hubbard House are available 24/7. 

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